well the plan was to go to bed early tonight ……….. oh well

I’m thinking about getting up earlyish in the morning and going for a walk……. maybe

was dinner at pas again tonight, mmm chinese, it used to be always chinese, Pa has put up his very cute christmas tree it is about 30cms tall and has little bear shaped lights and silver baubles all over <3 miss was completely wraped with the balls it took a bit of distracting to get her to leave tham alone

I am finally looking forward to tomorrow, I get paid tomorrow sometime, prolly after 6 but still that is some time tomorrow, and is really great after over a week of $0 avaliable, I imagine the boy will get his christmas hamper this week too, when he first started there there was straight profit sharing, in his first year this ment a $600 bonus which was very nice, along with a nice basket of goodies gradually the cash bonus has become a gift card which is still something very nice and still the hamper, I think last year was the esky with fruit cake, lollies with the company name in them, a thermos and some seweed snacks ….. I’m sure there was something else but its not really that important, it is important that the company cares enough about its employees to give them nice things even if they do have the company logo all over them, I get 1/2 christmas eve off …. if i’m on dayshift and draw the right straw, followed by a bbq paid for with $ raised by mayself and a few others with our weekly bbq , and then Drinks at the local also paid for by us from our bbq …….. I suppose at least we get a half day

i am thinking about the new year more, I want to be more organised, I have at least managed to get the calendar thing happening, we have 2 calendars one by the door and the other in the kitchen, at the moment both are filled with scribble especially the weekends I am hoping to get the same calander that we have by the door this year, it has nice big squares with lines not taht the lines are overly used but the big squares really help, the kitchen one is always a freebie this years is from the australian good taste mag next years will be the one provided by the council, I forgot the boy has two on the go as well, both old british bikes I think he uses them for remembering oil changes and whatever, one is in the shed and the other in the bar…. actually looking at it he also writed the important dont forget events on the one in the bar…… so perhaps next year we will ad something to that habit

This is where I remember why I don’t so much like Christmas

For me I’m pretty sure there has always been a deep sadness associated with this time of year , from maybe 8 to perhaps 16 I could barely bring myself to eat Christmas breakfast lunch or dinner and usually from the week before to around school starting, I don’t know why but I always felt on the verge of chucking and the same deep homesick like sadness that occasionally creeps up on me during the year

I wonder sometimes if it is the amount of pressure applied by everyone to do this that or the other, or maybe knowing that I have 25 or so people surrounding me all day followed by a sudden nothing …….. Mum always thinks it’s related to the Newcastle earthquake …… No that we were overly involved but we were in the Nelson bay cinema watching the opening credits of “Oliver and company” and it sounded like the projector was coming through the wall
I will say I had the same tight throat feeling in the five or so minutes before then as I do at this time of year but I’m not sure it could be completley related

I do think I am horribly hormonal at the moment, aunty maybe….. The weather perhaps, maybe I’m just plain grumpy, yet again with the pressure

“what are you doing at Christmas”
“won’t you come visit us”
“come to this do bring this salad(insert salad I have never made in my life here)”
“What do you want for Christmas “
“What can X Y and Z get you “
“We want to see miss at Christmas”
“Mum is upset because you aren’t coming for Christmas lunch”
” what do you mean by working night shift that week, so you won’t be doing any thing then”

Arrrtrgh I really want to find a nice dark warm cupboard to curl up in and stay till the season is over somebody can pass me some turkey and I’ll be right

Until then I’ll go on with life as always, slipping in a nap here and there hiding tears over nothing that keep sneaking up and dreaming of more relaxed happier times

On a better note I completed Js present Last night and miss had a whole day in the one pair of undies wooohoo, only problem now is stopping her from using potty to get out of going to bed without her losing trust in telling us she has to go

For now it’s off to bed for an early night for me

Work!

Not much to say about it, it’s muggy and cloudy and hot

I’m tired and grumpy

I can think of so many things I could be doing but instead I’m looking at trains trains and more trains ……. I am so still in holiday mode

Luckily miss slept in this morning and didn’t see me go, for the last 2 weeks every time I went to go out without her she screamed bashing on the door or trying to force herself through the bars, which doesn’t make for a smooth exit

I am looking forward to getting home tonight, perhaps finish some Christmas pressies and consider cooking dinner

How’s chicken tikka masala spaghetti and vegies sound, or a little too mixed foods?

The decorating of the tree

Tonight we decorated mum and dads tree……. For some reason I always required to drecorate the tree or assemble flat pack furniture

So this is the tree for this year

ooops missed the star…….. it is on top

I dissagree with all the hype about real trees smelling like a norsca ad etc I think they smell of earth and pine needles (funny that) and have this horrid coating of sap and the needles are all spikey …….. that said I am begining to think we should get one in the future so we don’t have to worry about storing our tree though I love the christmas card tree seen in this months better homes and gardens not that we really get cards ….. I am trying to phase them out of our life …. most of our gifts are parcels with a name written on the bottom in sharpie ….. very stylish …. not …. but is better than having cards sitting around or constantly looking for labels….. one day we will have a paper free christmas but not quite yet

This was followed by BBQ dinner and this

What a good way to spend a Sunday evening
Sadly it’s back to work for me tomorrow

she swims!

what more can I say ….. we went swimming, she did ring a rosie with  the “big kids (who are prolly only a year older but hey big difference at that age) went floating up and down the pool on the mat with the instructor and even kicked better than some of teh “big kids” then kept jump falling off the wall and swimming to mae then pushing off and back to the wall and starting again….. now to get the jumping in thing to happen

sadly on the way home miss quietly asked Potty? but we were in the middle of nowhere as far as loos are concerned anyway, so I planned to at least get her to the park and holding her behind a tree but we didn’t quite make it that far poor kid she asked and everything and for a little kid held on for ages after

in christmassy stuff I have almost completed miss’ christmas dress, considering making the matching bloomers I have them all cut out so prolly should, the boy wants me to make her a hair thing from the patterned fabric …. we will see, its generally not worth it because mis has such short fine hair and pulls anything in it out :sigh:

tomorrow is tree decorating day at mum and dads we had an offer to go and get the tree with them but I want to do a few things around here first

next monday I’m back to work….. I feel I’ve missed my holiday completely, today wasn’t much help, I decided to make an attempt at sewing miss’ christmas dress

I traced the peices, and cut them out had a break did this or that, came bakc cut some bits out realised I needed some more fabric, discussed what to make for J since I made this for M, needed pattern from this website and opinions on fabric…. apparently 4 yearolds are too old for teddy bears, picked on because I can’t handle being without the computer ….. excuse me but I was surfing the web quite happily on my iPhone thank you I just need the computer to print some stuff off

decided even though I have next to no money I should just go get what I need and get back to making….. first

“where are my keys?”,

“on the hook”,

“no they aren’t”,

“well where did you put them last?”,

“you had them last”,

“no I didn’t”,

“Oh stuffit just give ne yours”,

wander out to the shed, fiddle with his stupid keys that look nothing like mine, open shed…. damn … the gate …. wander down to gate fiddle with keys unlock gate …. damn sidecar in the way ….. you s*** me, pain in the butt stupid bloody idiot ….. wander back inside find keys growl at boy…. he comes out to see what going on, still looking for my keys

“Move your bike will you”,

“I’m trying to help you find your keys maybe they are in the shed”

throw sidecar keys at him “just move your stupid bloody bike idiot”

“whats your problem”

“arrrgh your bike is in my way and the shop shuts at 5 I was ready to go at 430 and now your stupid bike is in the way”

“you could get past that”

“I don’t care just move it will you”

jump on my bike start and rev the engine

boy moves his bike

scream down the driveway……. close gate …. run up front stairs grab helmet and gloves from under yetsredays picnic blanket…. tinkle tinkle…. damn my keys… quietly hide keys back under blanket rather than admit I was wrong (he wouldn’t have put my keys in my helmet)…. open front gate scream up street as loudly as possible

I don’t think the day got much better from there

I did get only one thing more than I needed from spotlight

stopped to look at the doughnut king cheep end of day boxes …. nothing interesting … start to head off  ” only $5 per box sir”… see red … breath… count … walk away … walk away ….. turn around a second don’t want to be rude ” no thanks” keep going

at home the boy pointed out that the chicken needs cooking tonight….. “what do you want to do with these?”

“I can teryaki them if you want”

“yeah ok”

search through cupboards “how about Quesadillas? we have no onion but we can have them without”

“yeah ok we have tomato an lettuce in there sounds good”

cook Quesadilla kit …. says it makes 8 I only managed 6 maybe not enough chicken surely not because of lack of onion

add a little lettuce and tomato to the side of our Quesadillas all done

first thing the boy does is  pick up a quesadilla peel it open adn starts stuffing lettuce and tomato into it and eating like a taco …. he did have a point in saying well its like a taco ….. yet another arguement about how how should use cutlery and set a good example for miss with replies like who says it should be eaten that way and I doubt the mexicans have cutlery to eat them with and this is “our ” culture to make sandwiches out of everything(not sure wo the rest of our is but aparently all large families encourage making sandwiches from dinner rather than eating dinner with bread alongside)…. puts his beer away “what are you doing?’, “mexicans don’t have beer with dinner so I’m getting a glass of water sorry its not in a wooden cup” ….. sigh ….. whats the bet aunty will be visiting some time soonish with the way I’ve been today hopefullly tomorrow is much better

a trip to the beach ……… a whole hour and a bit away

it seems to have worn everyone out, the boy and miss are sound asleep (I have no Idea how she can be asleep next to that chainsaw but she was)

we went in the surf almost deep enough to cover my feet when the water went out and up to my waist when it was in…. no way I was taking miss any further, besides she didn’t appreciate it anyway as soon as the first wave hit her she was crying …. “no more no more, all clean, no more” over and over untill we were well away from the water,  I am a very mean mummy and made her stay for just a little longer

we wandered over to the pool because we though that maybe it was the waves scaring her … but no same reaction there, wasn’t even interested in the crab i spotted in the inlet hole

so we decided to look for shells and wander the rocks

there weren’t many empty shells to be found and miss now thinks of periwinkles as snails (because thats the best way I could describe what was going on with them)

but there were plenty of cement like  rocks

some with really interesting patterns

we found a rock pool to sit in which was a little warmer than the pool or  the surf

and lots of pretty rocks to look at

then headed back to the park for lunch (fish and chips of course)

its been a very big day …. I think it may be time for me to go to bed too

Ahhh family nights, tonight we’ve had two …… Miss and I that is lots of fun at Pa’s then home to spend time with daddy who was a little put out that I said he wasn’t coming

The boy is sitting on the lounge eating a big bowl of ice cream coated in milo the toddler is sitting on the lounge next to him occasionally standing up and leaning toward the bowl while making slurping noises ( we really aren’t that mean she had already had some Milo coated ice cream of her own)

For some reason I am starving, i’m wondering if it is dinner (chicken ceaser salad) with it’s lack of bread or noodles or something or maybe the general lack of food today the boy dosen’t believe in eating during the day, he also forgets the time very easily and I can see miss being very hard to get to bed next week

I have decided since our visitor that we I need a very slim digital camera, I miss my N95 with it’s 5 mp camera and it’s flash especially when I see so many random pics I could take to blog with but won’t turn out because too far away or too dark

The boy now reads miss a story or three as requested ………very cute, unfortunatley for me daddy is the fav for stories and potty but heaven help me if I leave the house, among the wails I’m sure there are some baby curses going on

It’s very sad we now have almost 15 chanels and nothing to watch, i’ve decided since 72 started channel 7 has some serious signal problems, the most interesting recording i want to watch is totally pixelated …….. That really sucks

I keep thinking we should be doing something christmassy around the place but I’m not sure what tinsel strung across the cealing, lights hung outside, more trees? Oh I just don’t do well at doing christmas

Ever seen that michel’s patiserie ad with the dreamy barrister creating beautiful coffee for a cafe filled with drop dead georgous women who are all getting excited over the barrister …….. I wish my michel’s was like that usually they are in the middle of a shopping centre with a barrister nothing like the one in the add and for that matter the customers are nothing like the chickies either……… Ahh but we can always dream that we are one of those chickies and that the barrister has those sexy moves

Ahhhhh dreams

Ah the joy of a week off ……. Sleep to almost 9 when the toddler come to inform us ” wee ” unfortunatley she was talking about her bed….. Lucky I’ve made it in 4 layers so I don’t have to go searching for sheets if she has an accident in the middle of the night ……. She later quietly mentioned potty and happily sat for a bit then stood up and demanded chocolate, so I guess she has associated chocolate with the sitting but not yet the going….. We are getting closer

The rest of the day didn’t quite go so well, they boy was extreemly excited by a succes with poo and dissapointed to find it was his nephews birthday party yesterday and he wasn’t invited but SILs family were

We had a small visitor this morning ……. One of next doors chickens was going off, the boy looked out the window and there she was standing on our middle fence

~Big news flash~ tonight in her usual attempt to avoid nigh nighs miss asked to go potty and actually went as well …….awesome

Best go get her off to to nigh nighs and get back to my little sewing project yeah like thats going to happen with daddy home and begging for mis to be allowed to stay up later

I am amazed at the moment how many new blogs I’m discovering, I wish I had time to read them more often, actually even these two weeks I really haven’t had time to read them just the odd post here and there that gets linked to and maybe thae posts around it or the current post on the linked to blog …. there is one little thing that bothers me with a lot of blogs though…… those little music players usually burried at the bottom of the screen somewhere, now the music isn’t so much a problem I generally have my speakers turned off unless there is a vid I want to hear the sound of …. its my poor old computer which almost collapses under the strain of loading such pages…. I went to an onling quilting shop recently and couldn’t navigate it at all because the music  took up so much memory to run …. so those website designers and bloggers out there spare a thought for those of us with very old equipment who are either too tight to upgrade or lacking in funds (in this house the satus wavers between the two )