A very sad thought January 30, 2008

its official…… I’m someones mum

it dawned on me last night, we went to ‘G’pas for dinner, on the way home with a poor starving little baby, with my finger in her mouth to keep her quiet, I had a thought……….

“it’ll be good to get home and relax in front of the telly…….. while I do the folding”  8O     Help!!!!!!

I’m actually thinking of folding as a relaxing thing to do, I dislike folding, it would normally sit there for a week untill most of the clothes have been worn and there are only one or two things left and here I am thinking about actually doing it before it gets to that stage

so when’s the christening? January 25, 2008

ARRRRRRGH, its started already, evil nan came for lunch yesterday, ans asked the above question…..awkward silence…. I told her we wern’t having one the boy chimed in with we feel she should be free to choose when she’s old enough…. but what if she decideds to become a musilm asks nan, I think this woman is nuts, hasn’t she heard of conversion, I say thats up to her we have muslim friends who are really nice even the dedicated ones. we be nice to nan, we bite our tounges and  think nan might pay off our house oneday since we are the only ones that visit and call regularly and get along with her wellish

later today FIL SMS’d the boy, have you picked a date for a naming day, I said bugger it tell them we’ll have a big 1st birthday instead, I think her surviving her first year (even though its very common in this country) is a better thing to celebrate than her name, so the boy’s family has been put out a little oh well

think its time I updated January 15, 2008

ok so I’ve been kinda busy the last few weeks so here tis

 Miss L was born at 8:39 on the 1st of January 2008

I missed out on my home-birth and ended up with a cesarean

waters broke at 130pm on the 31st december…….. were bright mustard yellow, I kenew it wasn’t going to be good, told the boy to ring MW I was shaking so bad just because I knew what she was going to say. she told me to go to the hospital, I convinced her to come and see first she came she saw she knew we had to go but rang a few other MWs to confirm I think it was just to make me feel better that she had 4 opinions plus hers, she gave me untill 5 to get established, then we went.

we got to the hospital, and were shown to a room, I think I had a shower, then the dr came in, did an interna examination, which I am sure should not have been so painful, and rattled of what they were going to do…. she wanted me attached to the monitoring machine and if I moved too much for a good reading they were going to clip a monitor my baby’s head (stuff that I don’t care if they think its not going to hurt the baby) she attached the drip and left.  My MW managed to negotiate periodic monitoring with the hospital MWs so that I could move and use the shower, amd so I was induced,

the Mws were lovley,I threw up everything that I ate or drank, we watched the fireworks on the telly and the MW looking after me brought in a cup of sparkling grape juice for the boy and my MW. by 630 I was told there would be another examination at 7 and if I hadn’t progressed far enough ………. the boy by then was begging me to take something for the pain, while he was sitting on the loo watching me in the shower. 7am yet another majorly painfull examination …… 5cms I needed to be 7 to avoid them doing something,

I was told they were going to do a c/s and everyone left to make preperations………. they left the drip on …. I asked if it could be turned off my MW ran after them asked and came back and turned it off,the drs came back, and I was prepared, I talked to the anethsatist who was really nice signed some papers and  was moved onto a trolly

I didn’t enjoy the whole being wheeled down the hall head first thing the boy followed and was taken to a waiting room while I was taken into theatre, numbed and laid on the table,then he was brought in to sit with me once they had the screen up.

It is the strangest thing to not feel full sensation, I heard sucking, then the nurse said they had a head and more sucking to remove gunk, then I felt a big pressure and a plop in my belly…. and there it was baby cried, I cried, the boy gave me a kiss, then they took him to see what we had, he came back with the biggest grin on his face”its a girl” I cried even more, they brought her to me and laid the warm wraped little bundle on my chest

after a little while they took her for weighing and measuring, 4.1kg and 53cms long, since I had my own MW I was allowed to have her skin to skin and try BFing in recovery, wher I was given a few checks and the button

the button was great once the spinal wore off and I started to feel the odd pain, and turned out great when I had to be turned during the night, by morning I had managed to turn myself , a little  later they came and took the button away and the drip as long as I promised to drink lots of water, then got me up and shuffled me to the shower and left me to it, it took another day to get some decent mobility I stayed for 4 days, I was missing the boy too much I had to go home, and I was only getting panadol and voltaren for pain relief anyway

not exactly what I wanted I am dealing with that and letting it be gradually one day it will just be what happened and I won’t burst into tears just thinking about it