A Realisation

I have no friends……..

Don’t get me wrong here I have a heap of facebook friends mostly old school friends and workmates with a generous dusting of web friends

There are the odd blogs I enjoy reading and they feel like friends

There are the internet friends most of them I’ve never actually met and I’m willing to bet quite a few I’ll never meet IRL

There are plenty of people I enjoy spending time with and talking to

But no friend friends you know the type everyone else seems to have that they meet up with for drinks be it coffee or alcohol regulary or maybe visit each other for meals or perhaps complain about OHs habits

I know it’s probably something I’ve brought on myself but this weekend really highlighted it
the boy went away for almost 4 days leaving me with out transport he got home on Monday got all grumpy at me for the place being a mess (no more than when he left) then went pretty much straight to work

Seriously is it so hard to give someone you supposedly love a hug that you mean

Anyway someone to just call and chat with one of those nights would have been great over the weekend rather than being stuck for 4 rainy days with no way of getting out and about without getting totaly drenched and no one other than miss to talk to and the Internet where I can stand by and watch everyone else live life

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Its a birsday potty

As you may imagine that statement brought much confusion…… We generally don’t bother too much with explaining things that are about to happen to miss but she does know what a birthday is (cake with candles) so to get her ready and out the door we told her we are going to a birthday party

Got all ready to got and out the gate…. We both took off in the same direction but the boy did a U turn grrrr I went around the block and didn’t see him so kept going the way I thought he went eventually stopping at a servo to wait I almost went back home but decided I had an idea of where we were going and sent him a text that I’d see him there

I really beleive that most of the M7 should have high wind warnings that road is so windy

It turned out I was only minutes behind him

I left him to lock up the bikes and took miss to the toilet ( which is where our confusion begins ) then she wanted to go to “potty” sigh took a bit to realise what she was going on about

At the party there was much loud music and lots of people ee didn’t know…. miss for some reason thinks dancing is running around squeeling
There were the typical little boys, J was one of those then miss found a little friend who apparently is not afraid of anyone and walked straight up to miss who stood head and shoulders above her and tried to hug……, yet another example of miss needing more socialisation she ran away ….. By the end of the night she was sharing the hugs awwwww

Dinner was a buffet BBQ drinks were buy your own kiddies got chips and ice cream

Followed by dancing…. Now being a 50th birthday there were plenty of babyboomers up dancing in very 60s style it always looks like fun but with the boy being anti dancing kinda takes the fun out of it

We didn’t stay for cake I am at work today and it was getting very late on the way out I discovered I didn’t have my glasses with me it was sunny when we left home so i wore my sunglasses and put my clear ones in the bag which miss dragged all over the house… grrrr… luckily I don’t yet have glasses as a condition on my licence but it would not have been a fun ride home without the boy’s taillights to follow since a really can’t read the signs till I’m on top of them and roadworks make for very confusing markings

Poor baby when we got home I took her from the sidecar to her bed where some time between me tucking her in putting my bike away and getting back to the front door she wet and that started her bawling and panicing because no one was around as far as she could see….. Sigh …. I really have to work on this toilet before bed thing

Anyway was a pretty good night the birthday girl was happy to see us there and well that’s all that matters

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Ahh the joys of life

My bayby is 2 …. sigh….. now comes the next wave of questioning ….. whens the next one…… apparently never is not a good enough answer….. and often followed by you have to give her a little brother…. always with the brother ….. eventually they get the hint with no longer possible (I hope) …… the boy made his decission and had is procedure …… but you are still only young they say…. he’s 34, he works hard he doesnt want to be an old father or not so old but just too sore to get out and play

now this is not what I was going to post about …. but yet again I was reminded today but this time by an old polish man who strugles with english so not worth explaining just agree and oh maybe but not atm

now …. there was  the party she had a ball I think everyone did…. evil nan even rang just to talk to me (now that never happens… I feel so accepted) about what a good day she had and how nice it was to see the children playing together

since then the washing machine died…. ok so we just got tired of fixing it …. it was totally fixable just a new pump would have done the job but we just couldn’t be bothered so out with the old and in with the new…. and for the first time ever I haggled EEK …. I got the same price including delivery and removal of the old one as a shop I saw online …. Ok so my style matched that that I learned in thialand many years ago don’t like the price walk away  ”aww I may as well go home and order online ” ;)

I’ve been on shift again…. a whole week of afternoon shift … pure bliss…… followed by 4 weeks of all over the place stuff…. the boy is again not happy I’m working 6 days one week 4 the next but only 3 on the 4th week

yesterday I  think no one was happy, I got home to him playing medievil II total war he promptly complained that the blue chiller bag he took shopping wasnt filled with green bags as he thought but with old clothes that I keep meaning to drop in the vinnies bin … how embarrassing

the following laughter from me woke the princess from her nap hee went back to his game …. miss and I played a bit with her new thomas set “trayins” and wresstled and had a snack and squeeled and cuddled etc…… then she got bored and went to see daddy …. he got annoyed with her and went out the back …. every 5 seconds he is yelling at her for something  usually nothing ….. she poos her pants he brings her in and throws her in  the shower …. I get her out and convince her to settle in front of some telly

she heads back out and screams the house down when I try to stop her …. I look at the clock 730…. oops better get dinner happening …. cook dinner, she is eager…. he goeas back outside as I’m serving …. I head out to tell hime its ready …. as soon as the door closes behind me… it comes from the shed “fuck off” …. seriously… I’ve been working all day, I wonder what hes been doing since everything in the yard was done in the last hour or so the is washing all  over the lounge room and without me the poor kid would have to wait till after dark to have dinner……. I am not happy

so ahh the joys of life ….. I constantly get whinged at for always being on the computer but I’m begining to wonder how often he uses it for his game when I’m not around…. how much is Our litt;e miss missing out on because he “hasn’t got time” but has time for his game …. I know I should give him a break but It shits me that he can be sooo bloody hypocritical

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Wordless weekend

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Cough cough sneeze ………yawn

She’s done it again……. Put her to bed at 830 and at 10 she gets up with a cheery “good morning” …….sigh……… that was followed by multiple late night potty trips and feet in my ear, fingers in my belly button…… And grabing at various parts throughout the night …….yawn.…… so now we see if we can get a drs cert

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Eeek

She’s two tomorrow…….. Can you believe it T-W-O how’d that happen how can it be tomorrow, I am very lucky that she is only two and it won’t matter that we haven’t got her anything……….She’s TWO

How pathetic am I it’s 0330 and I’m sitting her just got home from a 12 hr shift enjoying a double scotch and cola and a choc mousse with tear dripping on my Glasses …….She’s Two, tomorrow…………. For some unknown reason that’s just so sad, maybe it’s just the scotch, maybe it’s that I work so much I missed it……. Maybe it’s that I missed last year…….. Maybe it’s all of the deep dark memories and emotional crap catching Up, maybe it’s that soon there will no longer be a baby in the house

………..She’s Two, she knows all of the characters in the night garden by name and often imitates Macka Packa with any funnel or trumpetish shaped object she finds, she imitates the Tomblyboos by falling on her bottom, she dances like upsy daisy, she lays down and rocks her feet like iggle piggle

………She’s Two, she knows The start song to YoGabbaGabba, Including the names of the caracters, she dances, she is learning mine and yours the right way around and a million other moral things

……….She’s Two, she goes Ape over Thomas the tank engine running around screaming Train Train Train ….. Little does she know what mummy does for a living, she gets excited about Elmo……. She is obsessed with Jumping and now the Slide which she says in the same way as Sylvester the cat does, she loves to ‘read’ I wonder if given the chance she will be one of those people who just picks up reading from us reading to her or maybe her play reading is harbouring some sort of creative writing skills

She’s Two tomorrow, she knows a Chicken goes Buckgack (sometimes buck buck buckgack ) she knows a rooster crows(not sure how you spell a true rooster crow, Ive never heard one say cockadoodledoo) she knows a sheep and a goat make pretty much the same sound, and since she could talk she has known that mobikes got broom broom

She knows the pins in mummys sewing room are sharp and find fun in poking me in the bum with them while Im trying to finish something she also knows scissors are sharp and that they cut by opening and closing but not exactly how to do it

She can walk and run and jump and even sorta swim but Wii still considers her a baby untill she is three

Tomorrow as of 0839 she is two…….I have so many hopes and dreams for her but so little time to share with her and most of that I spend trying to get time for myself and wallowing in the fact that I should be doing so muchmore with her, even if it is just taking her to things

Next year I plan to get her into a local daycare so she can socialise, but the boy wants to wait till she actually tells is she has to poo rather than telling us after the fact

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another christmas passes

our backyard is a little more crowded

Miss is slide obsessed

this

has been making lots of this

The boy has been getting creative on the fridge
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the Tea cart that poppy gave her has become a car

and a pram for elmos (no thats not a typo, tip boy got her two one is for the bath)

I am left with the difficult choice of which camera to use for what with the boy being dissapointed that mum not only also bought a camera but a bigger brand name than the one he did ……. he was all keen to take it back, But I am sure we will have need for 2 cameras in this house especially when one is better suited to hanging in the bottom of my bag than the other (internal zoom plus a protective case provided in the box)

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Merry christmas

Or something like that,

I have successfully ruined it for the boy yet again, with his being late for work decending into a screaming match complete with tears and tantrums………… I’m sorry to have brought my baby into this life sometimes she shouldn’t have to deal with our problems, she shouldn’t see her mother in bawling her heart out on the floor, she shouldn’t be in a position to feel the need to offer comfort……… I’m sorry my baby, I’m sorry to have brought you into this, I’m sorry I’m so tired and grumpy I can’t control my own actions, I’m sorry push daddy to the edge so often, I’m sorry I am so drained from work that I can’t bring myself to do simple chores or spend quality time with you ……..

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Advent blog along day 24

Christmas Shopping

I have done nothing in the way of Christmas shopping eek

I’m hoping I can stay awake long enough to pick up a few little things and possibly a gift voucher if I can’t find what I want …….. I dream of a gift free Christmas (maybe except for the kiddies), unfortunatley too many others dissagree with that thought …….sigh so tomorrow morning I’ll take my little last minute trundle and hope for the best at least I suppose I have a good idea of what I’m looking for

Seems I’m not alone

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/2009/12/23/attention-all-christmas-shoppers/

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Advent blog along day 23

Only 2 nights to go……… 2 sleeps for some I’m really looking forward to actualy sleeping on Christmas night

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